Dark Bloody Report Revision
by Matfix
Summary: The Redux of Ed Edd n Eddy The Dark Bloody Report
1. Chapter 1

Ed Edd n Eddy The Dark Bloody Report Revised

By Matfix

Notice

This is a retold version of the Ed Edd n Eddy Elfen Lied Crossover The Dark Bloody Report. Sinced the first version was horribly written with too many mistakes I've deicided to start the story over hoping for better reviews than the last one got. For all the fanfiction authors who didn't like the first version and complained about the writing I'm going to listen and rewrite this story. Please help me as much as you all can to make this story better because it's very very important that this story has as few mistakes as possible note I will not change how the story will end or lucy's death I might change the monster that is sealed inside Double Dee. I won't take out Nazz's speach because that's important for the aftermath of Lucy's death however I will make spelling corrections rework some of the chapters and be specific of where each chapter takes place such as the nightmare chapter. Also this story might be a little longer than the original version. Anyway here's the rewritten version of Chapter 1 Enjoy.

Note I don't own Ed Edd n Eddy of Elfen Lied

Chapter 1 Lucy's Escape

The story begins on an Island across the coast of the Pacific in a top secert lab where the scientists are studing the Diclonius mutated humans with two horns and a sixth sense.

"Okay tell me again why we have stay in this room with that diclonius?" asked a guard

"To make sure she doesn't try anything funny." said another guard

"She's lock up tight, what can she do?" asked a guard

Suddenly the guard's arm was sliced off.

"Ahh my arm!" screamed a guard

"Holy shit." said another guard

Suddenly the keys levatated in the air opening the lock to her cage then she killed the guards and headed out the door.

"Kurama Lucy's escaping." said a scientist

"Guards stop her we can't let her escape." said Kurama

So the guards headed off to the hallways hoping to stop Lucy.

"Alright her vectors has a 2 meter radius; if we can stay at least that far from her, we'll be safe." said a guard

"But didn't he also say, that she can levate objects as well?" asked another guard

Suddenly a pen that the guard had on him levatated and stabbed him in the eye.

"Damn it fire." ordered a guard

The guards began firing but had no effect Lucy then used her vectors to kill the guards while making her way to the exit.

"Shit get a sniper up there hurry." order the General

"On it." said Kurama

So Kurama and a sniper went up to the sniper post and waited for Lucy.

"Are you sure that rifle will stop her?" asked Kurama

"This is an 50-caliber anitank rifle, as storng as her vectors are; there's no way she can defect this bullet." said the sniper

A few minutes later Lucy came out the door and the sniper was aiming for her.

"Got her locked." said the sniper

"Fire!" shouted Kurama

So the sniper fired and hit the helmet on Lucy's head causing it to break and Lucy fell into the ocean.

"Did that do it?" asked the sniper

"No it didn't, it only destoryed the helmet, and wounded her slightly." said Kurama

"Damn it." said the sniper

"We'll find her somehow, we have to." said Kurama

End of Chapter

Author's Note: This first chapter is a little more in line with the beginning of Elfen Lied compare this chapter and the one from the first version of the story to see the difference. Note the charaters are still gonna be the same from the first story. Although some chapters are gonna have so changes.

P.S Eric Wong I've decided that I might put in those other characters you mentioned in your review of the previous version of the story only one problem though I have no idea what kind of roles would these characters play in this story maybe you can tell me how should these other characters be used in this story once I put them in the story will be almost competely different from the first one. Don't get me wrong I like your ideas and I think this redux of the story should be like the manga considering that the manga had better reviews then the anime. Although it's been awhile since I read the manga so my knowledge of the manga is a little weak. I'll make sure to reread the manga when I get the time to.

Review Please


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Ed Edd n Eddy's Nightmares

It's been two weeks since Lucy disappered and the U.S Military is still searching for her. Meanwhile in the cub-da-sac everyone was sleeping and the Eds were having bad dreams taking place in an abandon town.

Eddy's Nightmare

Eddy was walking around town and was wondering why there was no one around.

"Hello anyone here." said Eddy

"Man its like a ghost town here, is anyone here." said Eddy

"I'm here hahahaha." said a female voice

"Oh no not her." said Eddy who knew who that voice was

Lee Kanker appeared.

"AHHHHHH! What are you doing here?" paniced Eddy

"What do you think, I'm here to have sex with you Eddy." said Lee who began to take her clothes off

"Did you say to have sex?" asked Eddy

"Yes I did so take off your clothes boyfriend and lets get started." said Lee

Just then Eddy paniced and began to run.

"Oh no you don't your not getting away from me Eddy." said Lee who began to chase him

"Not happening Lee I'm not letting you rape me I'm running for my life." said Eddy

"Playing hard to get huh." said Lee

So Eddy ran all over town trying to get away from Lee.

"Gotta keep running can't let her catch me." said Eddy

Eddy soon ran out of breath and Lee was closing in.

"Help me somebody please save me. I'm too young for sex. HEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!" screamed Eddy

Just when Lee cornered him a mysterious woman with pink hair and horns showed up.

"Huh?" questioned Eddy who saw the pink haired woman in front of him who was looking at Lee

"Who the heck are you?" asked Lee

The woman said nothing and Lee arms were suddenly sliced off along with her legs.

"Ahhhhhhh!" screamed Lee in pain

Then she was levatated up in the air and then her head got sliced off.

"Holy cow." said Eddy who saw Lee get killed and was very happy.

"Yeppe at last she's dead finally, I'm free from Lee Kanker, oh mysterious stranger, thank you thank you thank you, your my hero." said Eddy who began kissing her hand

"Um your welcome you wanted her dead?" asked the mysterious woman in confusion

"Hell yeah I did, she and her sisters caused alot of trouble for me, and friends Ed and Double Dee." said Eddy

"Sisters she has sisters?" ask the mysterious woman

"Yeah and their probally tormenting my pals, so can you please save them, mysterious woman with super powers?" asked Eddy

"Sure I'll take care of the other two girls, and save your friends." said the mysterious woman

"Thank you." said Eddy

So the mysterious woman went off to search for the other two Kankers.

Ed's Nightmare

Ed was walking around town laughing and wondering where everyone was at.

"Hahahahahahahaha, huh where did everybody go it's like a ghost town, like from one of my comic books, where everybody disappers without a trace, in The Abandon Town of Kansses." said Ed

"Hello is anyone here?" asked Ed

"I'm here big Ed." said a female voice all too familiar to Ed

May Kanker appeared behind Ed out of nowhere.

"AHHHHHHHH KANKER!" screamed Ed

"Lets have sex big Ed." said May who took her clothes off.

"NOOOOO! Sex is bad for Ed run away!" yelled Ed who took off running

"You can run but you can't hide hahahahaha." said May

"HEEEEELP!" screamed Ed as he was running

Ed ran out of breath and he was cornered by May.

"Come to me my man." said May

"Oh no I'am done for help somebody help me." said Ed in terror

Suddenly May got smashed into a wall and the mysterious woman showed up.

"You must be one of that redhead's sisters right?" asked the mysterious woman

"You mean Lee yeah whats it to you and why can't I move?" asked May

"I think you would want to know that I've killed her, and your next I've got you pin to the wall by my vectors, you can't escape." said the mysterious woman

"What I'm next to die why me?" asked May

"For attempting to rape that boy now you die." said the mysterious woman

"Wait just hold on.." she was cut of when she was suddenly slice in half.

"Are you alright?" asked the mysterious woman

"Yes thank you, you've saved me, your like a superhero for my comic books." said Ed

"Your welcome, a friend of yours asked me to save you, and Double Dee." said the mysterious woman

"Eddy sent you oh thank you and please save Double Dee." said Ed

"I will." said the mysterious woman

The mysterious woman took off to rescue Double Dee.

Double Dee's Nightmare

Double Dee was walking around town and wondering why no ones here.

"Hmmm very strange this town is abandon." said Double Dee

"Hello is anyone here anyone?" asked Double Dee

"I'm here boyfriend." said a female voice

After hearing that voice Double Dee knew that the voice belong to none other then Marie Kanker.

"Oh no that better, not be who I think it is." said Double Dee

"Oh it is who you think it is Double Dee." said Marie

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KANKER!" screamed Double Dee

"Now now relax I won't hurt you." said Marie

"What are you going to do to me?" asked Double Dee in fear

Suddenly Marie started to strip naked.

"Why are you stripping?" asked Double Dee nerviously

"Because Double Dee we are going have sex." said Marie

After hearing that Double Dee made a run for it.

"Wait come back here it's not that bad." said Marie who then ran after him

"No way I'am too young for sex." scream Double Dee

"You can't run forever." said Marie

Double Dee ran as fast as he could.

pant: pant: pant: "Getting tired can't keep running for much longer someone anyone HELP ME!" screamed Double Dee

Double Dee ran into a dead end and Marie finally caught up wih him.

"Nowhere to run now boyfriend." said Marie

"Oh please have mercy I'm not ready." said Double Dee

Just then Marie felt something chocking her and the mysterious woman came.

"What the. somethings chocking me." said Marie

"You must be that redheads other sister." said the mysterious woman

"What do you know about them and who are you?" demanded Marie

"Let's just say I'm someone who punishes those who attack the innocent like your sisters and your next." said the mysterious woman

"What how come what did I do :cough: :cough?" asked Marie as she was being choked

"You were trying to force that boy to have sex with you and for that you must pay the price." said the mysterious woman

"Wait hold on." said Marie

Marie was sliced in half.

"Are you alright?" asked the mysterious woman

"Yes thank you but who are you?" asked Double Dee

"Lets just say that a friend of yours, asked me to save you as for my name, well you'll find out later on." said the mysterious woman

"Wait what do you mean I'll find out later?" asked Double Dee

The mysterious woman left and the Eds woke up.

End of chapter

The dream chapter is a little better than it was last time and I know Double Dee should've reacted terrified when Marie was killed but the Kankers did deserved it after everything they did even know it was just a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 The Eds Meet Nyu

The next day the Eds were trying to figure out what that dream was about.

"Man what a crazy dream." said Eddy

"Tell me about it, who was that girl who save us from the Kankers?" asked Double Dee

"You had that dream too?" asked Eddy

"Yes I believed, all three of us had that dream." said Double Dee

"Boy that was cool, that woman was like a comicbook hero." said Ed

"Yes well she did save us, but she didn't really have to kill the Kankers though." said Double Dee

"Oh lightin up you sissy those Kankers deserved to be killed after everything they did to us." said Eddy

"The Kankers were evil and had to be destoryed Double Dee, sides that they tormented my baby sister and her friend, some crimes can get you the death penatly, like from my comic books." said Ed

"True but still, oh who am I'm kidding you two won't listen to me anyway, but since she didn't kill us I suppose she can be a good preson." said Double Dee

"Glad you see it my way." said Eddy

Suddenly Kevin showed up.

"Morning guys." said Kevin

"Hi Kevin." said Ed

"Hey Kev, you won't belive the dream we had last night." said Eddy

"A dream huh tell me about it." said Kevin

"Well it's starts out where me and my pals were seperated in an abandon town, then suddenly the Kankers showed up, and stripped naked." said Eddy

"No way seriously." said Kevin

"Seriously we thought we were done for, until this pink haired woman with horns showed up, and killed the Kankers in a blink of an eye, then she disappers." said Eddy

"Whoa that must of been one hell of a dream." said Kevin

"What was one hell of a dream Kevin." asked Nazz

"The Eds all had this crazy dream, about the Kankers stripping naked, chasing them, and then this mysterious pink haired woman with horns shows up out of nowhere, and then kills the Kankers." said Kevin

"Whoa that must of been one bloody dream, and all three of them had that same dream thats odd." said Nazz

Suddenly Rolf and Jonny showed up after hearing the conversation.

"Hey fellows whatche talking about?" asked Jonny

"Yes we heard something about a dream that really sounds interesting." said Rolf

"Oh it's interesting all right, all three of the Eds had this dream about being in an abandon town, being chased by the Kankers, and then this mysterious horned woman shows up, and kills the Kankers." said Kevin

"Holy cow really?" asked Jonny in shock

"You betcha Jonny boy, it was the most craziest dream ever, and we don't know who that woman was ether, she just showed up out of nowhere and killed the Kankers, before they get the chance to torment us." said Eddy

"Dang that's one crazy dream and all three of you had it at the same time that's something that doesn't happen very often." said Jonny

Sarah and Jimmy then came to join in the confersation.

"What's are all of you guys talking about over here?" asked Sarah

"Yeah what's the juicy gossip here today?" asked Jimmy

"The Eds had the most insane dream ever, about this horned chick who rescues them from the Kankers, she used some kind of strange power that can kill a person without even touching them." said Kevin

"Holy macrolls thats sounds like a nightmare and she didn't kill you three as well?" asked Jimmy

"No way Jimmy that chick saved our lives she's a hero." said Eddy

"A hero you've got to be kidding me she's sounds more like a monster to me." said Sarah

"That's not true Sarah she may have the power to kill people but she's a good mutant who saved us from those evil Kanker Sisters." said Ed

"True she may have killed the Kankers, but those girls had it coming, remember all the things she did to us Sarah, so what she's a mutant she saved our lives." said Eddy

"She's still a preson ,she's not truly a monster and, she mainly only killed the Kankers because they tormented us." said Double Dee

"Oh please you guys are idiots, only humans can be people." said Sarah

"Sarah that's not true she may have been a mutant but she's still a person in that dream she saved the Ed's. Who was that stranger who saved you guys anyway?" asked Jimmy

"Don't know never got her name, in fact she just showed up out of nowhere and ,saved us for no reason, well mainly me of course." said Eddy

"Oh ok then." said Jimmy

"Thanks for sharing that dream of yours guys we'll be off now." said Nazz

"Why don't guy's join us for a game of basketball." said Kevin

"Maybe later Kev." said Eddy

"Ok see ya later." said Kevin

So while the kids went off to the playground the Eds took a walk down by the lake, they were still wondering what that dream was about.

"Anyone wondered what that dream was all about anyways?" asked Eddy

"Beats me Eddy it was probelly just a dream, but then again there could be more to the dream, since you told her to come rescue Ed and I, and it's not often we all experence the same dream at the same time, so what could it mean?" wondered Double Dee

"Maybe it was some sort of anceint prophacy of some sorts like from one of my comic books." said Ed

"You read too many comics Ed, there's no way it could be some prophacy. What kind of prophacy involves some horned girl appearing in our dreams like that?" asked Eddy

"I have to agree with Eddy on this one, but it is strange it's rare for friends to have a dream like that." said Double Dee

Just then a mysterious figured appeared by the lake.

"Look do you guys see what I see?" asked Ed

"What's that strange figure down by the lake?" asked Eddy

"Let's check it out." said Ed

When the Eds got closer they realized it wasn't a figure but a naked teenage girl with horns and long pink hair.

"It's a girl." said Double Dee

"A girl and she's naked too it must be our lucky day." said Eddy

"She must of lost her swimsuit somewhere and she is pretty." said Ed

"Look she has horns on her head." said Double Dee

"Could she be the one from our dreams?" asked Ed

"Maybe hello beautiful the name's Eddy, and these are my pals Ed, and Double Dee whats yours good looking?" asked Eddy

"Nyu." said the mysterious girl

"Nyu that's your name?" asked Double Dee

"Nyu nyu." said the mysterious girl

"Hmm it seems she can only say nyu." said Dpuble Dee

"So we'll call her Nyu then and man she has a hot body." said Eddy

"Eddy please we should get her some clothes she can't go around naked in public." said Double Dee

"Alright killjoy, Ed put your jacket on her until we get her some clothes." said Eddy

"Ok Eddy." said Ed as he takes off his jacket and puts it on Nyu

Just then Double Dee notices the horns on Nyu's head.

"Eddy look she has horns on her head." said Double Dee

"Your right could she be the girl from our dreams?" wondered Eddy

"Probalay Eddy but she doesn't have the same cold eyes as that mysterious girl did." said Double Dee

"Either way we must get her some clothes my mother has some spare clothes she could us so let's head back to my place gentalmen." said Double Dee

"Right lets go Ed." said Eddy

"Ok." said Ed

So they headed for Double Dee's house to get their new friend some clothes.

End of Chapter

Author's note: Hopefully this revised chapter 3 was a lot better than the one from the original by the way in case you were all wondering about the whole only humans can be people line that's a discriminating remark towards non humans and mutants that I just made up for Sarah to say cause it sounded more original. I made that remark up cause in stories invoving mutants or non humans humans tend to be really prejudice towards them as seen in X-men where humans fear mutants and belived them to be an abomanation of the human race which to me sounds completly ignorant. Anyway this story may take awhile to finish considering the fact I have to fix who knows how many mistakes don't know if I'll get them all but I'll at least try to fix it so it's more enjoyable to read without having to be confuse by some of the dialog.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 The Eds New Friend Nyu

After the Eds went to Double Dee's house the Eds managed to find Nyu some clothes, Double Dee had a heck of a time dressing her but managed to do just fine.

"Alright she's all dressed up that was a real hassle." said Double Dee

"Come on it wasn't so bad dressing a hot naked girl, I was hoping to play around with those big boobs of hers." said Eddy

"Don't be such a pervert Eddy, now the question is how are we gonna hide her horns." said Double Dee

"Why not just give her your hat, to cover up the horns." said Eddy

"Not on your life Eddy, this hat is too important for me to give up, I suggest we find a different hat cause I cannot give her mine." said Double Dee

"Why not it's not like it's that much of a big deal, what's the big deal about a mark on your head anyway?" asked Eddy

"It's not just a mark, it's a seal to keep a very powerful monster from getting out, that's why my parents gave me this hat in the first place." said Double Dee

"A monster cool what kind is it? Is it a vampire, or a zombie, or a werewolf?" asked Ed

"None of those Ed, but it's so powerful and deadly that it couldn't be destoryed, so my parents and some other adults had to seal it inside me, this mark on my head is that exact seal, so it's too dangerious for me to go around without something on my head." said Double Dee

"Woah that's some story sockhat so why didn't it appear when those Kankers were tormenting us while we were captured during that cruise scam?" asked Eddy

"Because my hat has to be off, and I'd have to be at the brink of death for it to awaken, but it's too risky, once it's unleashed it will take control of my body, and attack anyone in sight friend or foe." said Double Dee

"Woah in that case we better stick to this girl then, by the way Ed have you found a hat for Nyu to wear yet?" asked Eddy

"Still looking Eddy" said Ed

"So now that we found her Eddy, what are we gonna do with her?" asked Double Dee

"Keep her as our new friend that's what, and even after she kills the Kankers, we still have her live with us. said Eddy

"So where should she stay at?" asked Double Dee

"Your house that's where."said Eddy

"Here at my house." said Double Dee

"Yeah its your parents clothes she's wearing, and we can't keep her at Ed's place." said Eddy

"Found a hat guys." said Ed who found a hat then put on Nyu's head

"Bingo it's perfect now nobody will know about her horns, she now looks like a normal girl." said Eddy

Suddenly Jonny appeared.

"Hey fellows watcha doing?" asked Jonny

"Uhh nothing." said the Eds

"Oh who's this lady?" asked Jonny

"Oh that's are new friend, Jonny meet Nyu." said Eddy

"Nyu." said Nyu

"Oh hi there Nyu welcome to the cub-da-sac you'll like it here." said Jonny

"Nyu nyu." said Nyu

"Boy she sure likes to say her name alot." said Jonny

"That's because it's the only word she can say." said Eddy

"Oh so where ja meet her at?" asked Jonny

The eds knew they couldn't tell Jonny where they actually found her at so Eddy made up a lie.

"Um we found her in the woods yeah she was walking though the woods, and had no memory of who she was, and since she could only say nyu we decided to name her Nyu and she's gonna be living with Double Dee." said Eddy

"Whoa really, well aren't you a lucky guy Double Dee, having a girl live with you." said Jonny

"Yes well I'll have to talk to my parents about it first." said Double Dee

"Don't you have a guest room here?" asked Eddy

"Well yes." said Double Dee

"Then its settle, she can sleep in the guest room." said Eddy

"Well ok I guess." said Double Dee

Suddenly the other kids came in.

"Yo what up guys." said Kevin

"Hiya Kevin." said Ed

"Hey Kev, what are you, and the rest of the kids doing here?" asked Eddy

"Just wanted to come and visit you Ed boys." said Rolf

"Oh who this girl?" asked Jimmy who noticed Nyu behind the Eds

"Oh this is our new friend Nyu. Nyu this is Sarah, Jimmy, Nazz, Rolf, and Kevin." said Ed

"Nice to meet you Nyu." said Nazz

"Nyu nyu." said Nyu

"Hmmm why does Nyu girl only say her name, does she not know any other words?" asked Rolf

"Nope nyu is the only word she can say, that's why we named her that. We found this poor girl alone in the woods, so we decided to have her stay at Double Dee's house." said Eddy

"Woah Nyu is staying at Double Dee's house, well ain't you a lucky guy, so what are you planning to do with her hunh?" asked Kevin

Nazz then slaps Kevin.

"Ouch what you do that for?" asked Kevin

"You have a pervertic mind Kevin. Double Dee is just letting her stay at his house, he isn't planning to do anything sexual to her." said Nazz

"What I wasn't thinking of that." said Kevin

"Oh really, I say you staring at Nyu's chest, keep you eyes on her face not her chest." said Nazz

"You know Double Dee she has big boobs, I say you should play with them while Nyu's asleep or sleep with her." said Eddy

"EDDY!" angered Double Dee

"Alright I was kidding." said Eddy

"Well it was nice meeting you Nyu." said Jimmy

"Nyu." said Nyu

"Hey that reminds me the candy store is giving away free Jawbreakers today want to come wth us?" asked Nazz

Of course the Eds were more then happy to accept the invitation.

"Why don't we take Nyu along with us." said Jonny

"Good thinking Jonny boy, come on Nyu, you just have to try the most precious jewel in Peach Creek jawbreakers." said Eddy

"Nyu nyu." said Nyu

So everyone raced to the candy store and cleaned the whole store of it's jawbreakers.

"Oh yeah this is the life." said Eddy with his mouth full

"You said it Eddy." said Ed with his mouth full

"Man we cleaned out that store's jawbreaker supply like it was water." said Kevin with his mouth full

"So how are you liking that jawbreaker Nyu?" asked Eddy

"slurp slurp Nyu nyu." said Nyu who was savering the favor of the jawbreaker

"I take it thats a yes." said Eddy

So after they had their jawbreakers the kids went home, and the Eds and Nyu went back to Double Dee's house. Things were going well until a knocking was heard on Double Dee's door.

"Huh now who could that be?" questioned Double Dee

Double Dee opens the door and two police officers were standing.

"Oh hello officers is there a problem?" asked Double Dee

"Yes unfortionally two weeks ago a dangerious criminal escaped from a military base she's a mass murderior." said the officer

"Mass murderer whats this killer look like?" asked Eddy

The cop shows the Eds a picture and were shocked by who it was.

"Umm we haven't seen this chick before nope no one like that here i the cub-da-sac." said Eddy nerviousally

"Well if you see her let us know." said the officer

The cops left leaving the Eds in a serious perdictament.

"Man that was close, that officer must have the worng chick, cause there's no way Nyu could be a killer." said Eddy

"Your right Eddy, she must of been framed for a crime she didn't commit." said Double Dee

"We must protect Nyu at all cost." said Ed

"Your right lumby, this girl is the answer to our Kanker problem, and we the Eds will protect our new friend at any cost." said Eddy

End of Chapter

Author's note: Hopefully this chapter 4 was much better written than the one from the original. Next chapter is where Nana makes her apperance and I'm gonna make some changes for the beginning of that chapter

Review Please


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